I like her, but does she?

Just a week ago, me and our Angel (heh!) met for dinner first, before meeting Weili. Over dinner, both of us spoke about many things, from studies all the way to relationships. Haha.

We talked about her, and joked it over. I've been randomly thinking about it through this week, recalling vividly the details of every significant events that happened concerning her.

She's a girl I'll never forget. A girl I once admired so so so so so so so so much.
I'd slowly drop hints which she never understood. Or just purely choosing to ignore.
Beside her is always tagged by capable suitors that I can never compare with.
They are all talented, good looking (maybe not all, but at least better off than me) and slim.
To me, she's just the perfect girl, that everyone wants.
Never forgetting how funny it was to get the palpitating heartbeats whenever i bump into her.
To her, I guess I might just be a nobody. Or merely a life buoy to hold on whenever she needs it. (A rather fat and stable one, huh? hah.)
We once compared the sizes of our palms, then, I felt so fortunate to have actually touched her tiny hands. That's hilarious.
Many times, I wanted to asked her out but I didn't dare to. Many times, I wanted to call her up, but I didn't dare to. Many times, I wanted to confess to her, but I still didn't dare to. :((
Patiently and silently waiting for hours to get her reply over text messages and on MSN. But she did not replied for most of the times. :(
Then, I sought the help of this friend to help ask what she felt about me. Although I already knew the answer, but I still wanted to know.
I believed she knew I was interested in her, but didn't cared.
I listened carefully to my friend the message she conveyed to me, it was more like a indirect rejection. 'No feelings at all' - is what derived from their conversation.
At that moment, I learnt a new phrase in school that i thot I could use - unrequited love.
I'll never forget, together with that particular painful song my friend intro-ed me at that time, I teared.
Yes, I did. She really broke my heart, deep deep deep down. Very painful, then.

Everytime there's someone new, I'm always so afraid that history would just repeat itself. And well, along the years, it has sure proven my fears so damn right. All the girls, I believe, are the same.

Of course, I don't have feelings about her anymore, I just felt like saying these out. I guess both of us are still considered friends now? But just disappointed about her vast changes. Hmm.. Also thanks to LL who talked with me about it.

I just hope history will not repeat itself at the next one.

R. Kelly - If I Could Turn Back The Hands Of Time

This song always get me thinking of..