I like her, but does she?

Just a week ago, me and our Angel (heh!) met for dinner first, before meeting Weili. Over dinner, both of us spoke about many things, from studies all the way to relationships. Haha.

We talked about her, and joked it over. I've been randomly thinking about it through this week, recalling vividly the details of every significant events that happened concerning her.

She's a girl I'll never forget. A girl I once admired so so so so so so so so much.
I'd slowly drop hints which she never understood. Or just purely choosing to ignore.
Beside her is always tagged by capable suitors that I can never compare with.
They are all talented, good looking (maybe not all, but at least better off than me) and slim.
To me, she's just the perfect girl, that everyone wants.
Never forgetting how funny it was to get the palpitating heartbeats whenever i bump into her.
To her, I guess I might just be a nobody. Or merely a life buoy to hold on whenever she needs it. (A rather fat and stable one, huh? hah.)
We once compared the sizes of our palms, then, I felt so fortunate to have actually touched her tiny hands. That's hilarious.
Many times, I wanted to asked her out but I didn't dare to. Many times, I wanted to call her up, but I didn't dare to. Many times, I wanted to confess to her, but I still didn't dare to. :((
Patiently and silently waiting for hours to get her reply over text messages and on MSN. But she did not replied for most of the times. :(
Then, I sought the help of this friend to help ask what she felt about me. Although I already knew the answer, but I still wanted to know.
I believed she knew I was interested in her, but didn't cared.
I listened carefully to my friend the message she conveyed to me, it was more like a indirect rejection. 'No feelings at all' - is what derived from their conversation.
At that moment, I learnt a new phrase in school that i thot I could use - unrequited love.
I'll never forget, together with that particular painful song my friend intro-ed me at that time, I teared.
Yes, I did. She really broke my heart, deep deep deep down. Very painful, then.

Everytime there's someone new, I'm always so afraid that history would just repeat itself. And well, along the years, it has sure proven my fears so damn right. All the girls, I believe, are the same.

Of course, I don't have feelings about her anymore, I just felt like saying these out. I guess both of us are still considered friends now? But just disappointed about her vast changes. Hmm.. Also thanks to LL who talked with me about it.

I just hope history will not repeat itself at the next one.

R. Kelly - If I Could Turn Back The Hands Of Time

This song always get me thinking of..

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:)

Argh.

Today I was on leave, leave as in the one i personally applied for. But I totally forgot about it, and stayed in camp until it was near knock-off time.

Then met up with Leeleng and Weili for dinner, and had a fun chat together.

Kinda wasted leave and my whole day there!
Nonetheless I'm still feeling HAPPY. Still can smile while looking in the mirror! TEEHEEEEEE! :D

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Miss You Like Crazy.

Natalie Cole.


The Moffatts.

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Off day at home.

What a wasted and bored off day. Friends are either working or studying, everyone been rejecting me since.
It's okay, I'll stay at home to rest then. Been really tired after all the exhausting events.

I just came back from facial. It was actually my sis's package, but i just go whenever I'm free since Mum said we could share. Then had my Double Fillet with shaker fries. I know it's fattening but I really craved long enough for it. I ordered the same after the Lady Gaga concert but the Mac person didnt give me the shaker fries! Darn!

I've been listening to Kenny G - Love Ballads album i bought 1 to 2 months ago. He's really awesome.


What a price to pay for watching GI.Joe. Somehow I feel all the mess and blame is on me.

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You don't know.

Recently, lots of things have went through my head. Many things have happened.

Sometimes I don't even know what I am doing.
Am I even doing the right thing?
Is it even worth doing?
What are the consequences?

I don't think I will find an answer. Sometimes, it feels just like saying "Hello", and nobody replies. Maybe I'm just physically and mentally tired that's all, or maybe I'm not.

I'm lost and stucked. But I need no help.

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Shagged-legged.

Just reached home after running AHM/Safra Bay Run. Ran for 10km and had to pay for it. It was my first official marathon actually. There were lots and lots of people, mainly made up of people from army units, and surprisingly quite a handful of ladies as well. Met a couple of familiar faces too.

My speed and timing dropped, was rather disappointed. My legs muscles cramped towards the end, and were tight. I've probably been eating and slacking too much. I must train up. Or it could be the tiredness from last night. Went to Zouk last night with Selene, Vincent and Dominique, in support of Beatrice's NUS event.

Came back home like 1am, slept at 2am and woke up at 5am. Damn, tonight still gotta book in. I'm off to sleep already.

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GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA.

I AM GOING TO SEE LADY GAGA! :)



Let's have some fun, this beat is sick. I wanna take a ride on your disco stick!

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Just like Russell.

Just came back from Vivo watching Up the movie. They were all laughing at me while watching the movie. They say I look exactly like Russell, the cute and fat boy in the movie when i was younger. Thanks ah. Damn. I guess i'm still fat. :(

Trailer.



Okay, i admit by just a bit (the double/triple chin i presume) but i guess he's much more cuter than me.

There you go, the 'good' old days..



Well, I have not mentioned that we celebrating Leeleng's birthday. This post is probably dedicated to her. I knew her since sec 3, where we were dancing partners. That was really classic and hilarious. Hah. I got to know her better after she was together with Kelvin. We even had a fun trip to Genting together a year ago. Thou she's a bit violent (opps!), but she is nice, often hanging out with us, the whole bunch of guys and didnt mind. It looks like as if you have like one whole bunch of boyfriends to take care of. HAHA. You are the PERFECT housewife-to-be that will do all the household chores (a 黄脸婆? but pretty one lah.) Lucky Kelvin. :)

Lastly, just wanna add, YOU ARE NOT FAT AT ALL. Don't do unnecessary things to slim yourself down, alright? Okay just to wish you HAPPY 21st! And you're always be our 大嫂/Ah Lau/LL (whatever nicknames)!















Even more photos at my Facebook..

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Sick like shit.

Have been having diarrhoea for the past few days. I went out with Caleen for lunch last weekend, and had been visiting the toilet for like 2-3 days times already for just that short period. Luckily, it was Caleen and not my crush or eyecandy, if not it'll be damn embarrassing!

I guess it might be the strawberry sundae icecream i ate after hokkien mee last friday with those primary school friends at Chomps. Sheesh.

I just visited a doc, confirmed it has nothing to do with H1N1. Phew! But I still couldn't curb my temptation and bought myself a Double Filet-O-Fish meal with shaker fries!! It's damn shiok, i swear! I know i'm sick, but f it! :)







Everyone in this society makes use of everyone, don't you agree?
Everyone has a value.
When you're no more of use value, you're dumped to the furthest end of the world. It's that cruel, don't deny the fact.

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WHEN I NEED YOU.

"When I need you, I just close my eyes and I'm with you.."

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Wonderful.

Had a really wonderful year. Recalling all the new people I've met, things I did and experienced, feelings I felt, places I went, knowledge I gained and many more.. All were great memories, so I'd most probably picture them down.

No doubt, some are happy, some are sad. But it has indeed been a great year for me. I have many people to express thanks to. Thanking them for coming into my life and making it good for me. On average, I usually stay happy and cheerful all the time, unless some things that strike my mind/heart.

My priority still stands - family and friends. Both are equally important to me. Now I just hope my 21st wishes and resolutions could come real true. Also thanks to all for creating the best 21st for me. You know.

With much appreciation and love,
Shawn.

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